God Teaches Me to Lead

I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17

In lots of areas, I'm on a very steep learning curve. This goes without saying, but if I'm learning, that means there's lots of stuff that I don't know yet. Also, it means that I'm making a lot of mistakes.

I like to know everything and be fully qualified before I step into leading others... But that isn't God's pattern. He loves to promote humble people who have lots to learn.

One of the lies that comes at me is that since I'm making lots of mistakes, people would be better off without me... that somehow I'm going to mess things up to the point that I should quit while we're still all ahead. But this verse says that there is "profit," even in the learning curve. Other verses say it even more clearly (2 Cor. 12:9, Judges 6:14-16, Ex. 4:10-12, Phil. 4:13). The enemy is trying to get us to quit by making us feel like we have nothing to offer. While we don't have much to offer, if we offer it in Jesus' name, He can take it and multiply it (Matt. 14:13-21, Acts 3:6). These are verses I'm holding onto for dear life...

On the other hand, the enemy is also happy if we refuse to learn from our mistakes. He says that we are free to take advantage of God's grace and that there won't ever be any consequences if we continue to fail. This is also a lie (Rom. 3:5-8, James 2:26, Heb. 5:11-14, Zech. 7:11-14)! If the disciples made lots of mistakes in their learning process of becoming apostles, I should be willing to do the same. However, they eventually grew in wisdom and authority through the humble learning process. If I'm really changing, the same will be true of me.

While I don't want to write myself off for my mistakes, I also don't want to pretend that they aren't there or that they don't matter. I want to walk right down the middle of the straight, narrow path... Willing to learn and also willing to lead.

A Deceived Heart Can't Deliver Himself

He feeds on ashes; a deceived heart has turned him aside. And he cannot deliver himself, nor say, "Is there not a lie in my right hand?" Isaiah 44:20

When I've been deceived, I am feeding on ashes. My "deceived heart" believes that these ashes are tasty and satisfying. The lie is that there is power in an idol (read the context of the verse). An idol is the product of my effort and imagination.

When I am eating ashes, I need help to see it. I tell myself that my hard work and creative thinking will solve problems. It's easier for others to see when I'm choking on my efforts than it is for me. I imagine myself to be diligent. Others (especially my wife) can see when I'm fooling myself.

That's why I want to constantly maintain a posture of humility and vulnerability with people who know me and love me. Sounds good, right? It is good, but it's very difficult and painful at times... because it tends to be that the things I'm working hardest on and care the most about can most easily become "ashy." Being open to hearing about that is tough.

Day Off

It's been a long haul the last couple months for the Millikan fam. Between sickness, Easter, FMA, and lots of other little meetings here and there, it just feels like we haven't had much family time. So we're taking the day off together...

This morning I'll be trimming the tree in the back yard to prep it for swing-installation. Then this afternoon we'll be making our first trip to Pump'd in Watsonville.

I am determined for my kids to grow up feeling happy that daddy is a pastor. I want them to understand that saying yes to Jesus opens up all kinds of incredible possibilities and fun that we could never get on our own!