Another Capitola Beach Moment

Another glorious moment at Capitola beach a couple nights ago. For some reason this full moon has been shining brighter than others (purely a subjective comment here... nothing scientific at all). You might not be able to see it clearly in this shot, but that was actually the moon rising (not the sun setting - which would only happen over the water). It was really a sight to see!

Also fun was how many people drove past us and honked or waved as our little family was walking down to the beach from our house. I think we saw three different Coastlanders driving past on our short little walk!

Stretching to Fit

I just finished reading Daniel's blog entry. It is very helpful for me to get his perspective on where things are at and how things are feeling -- even if the realities of his schedule only allow me to glean those thoughts from his blog. *smile*

Last time he was in service I actually did get to speak with him in person afterwards. His feedback was, "Too many announcements, not enough Bible." And he encouraged me to tie the thoughts I'm sharing in my teaching more closely to scripture. I hope you've seen me grow in that over the last couple months since he and I had that chat.

Here's the quote from his blog that I thought was particularly eye-opening:

The congregation has definitely grown younger under Todd and Hilary’s tutelage; I’ll bet the average age of non-Childrens’ Ministries people has dropped 12 years, so that now the church is as much a church for us old folks’ children as it is for us! I’m sure it has taken a bit of getting used to by the adults who clustered more around my age when I pastored. Since many of them grew old with me, they likely did not realize how much the younger generation had to stretch to fit in with us. Now the tables are turned, and those slightly younger than us are, more and more, creating the flavor of the church—from worship to CM to activities to language, etc. Can we who are older stretch our comfort zone enough to be able to adapt to an environment/atmosphere in church that does not emanate from our generation’s tastes?

God is always in the process of stretching each of us. For me, the last several months have been an incredible stretch -- believing that God can really work through this young, inexperienced leader. When all I've ever seen of ministry leadership are people who are older and wiser than me, it's a wild leap of faith to believe that God can use little-old-me.

Although I wouldn't have the place to say it myself, I can easily affirm Daniel's words. I believe that God is indeed increasing the maturity of many people who are more mature than I am through the stretch they are experiencing in following my leadership. It has almost nothing to do with the quality of my leadership... It has everything to do with their continued pursuit of hearing and responding to God's voice.

In Daniel's words,

I am very happy to say, though, that the vast majority of my “older” friends at The Coastlands are making the transition well. Not without pain and soul-searching and determination, but with already-visible rewards of increased maturity that comes from finding the Lord, themselves, in the midst of turbulent times. I am very proud that I once was their pastor.

Property Update

Just received word within the last couple hours that Clarum Homes, the company that Dominican Hospital was negotiating with toward a potential sale, has elected to withdraw from the process. Presumably, Dominican will seek to enter negotiations with one of the other companies that have already submitted proposals.

I’m very grateful that God promises to handle issues that are too big for us. Letting go is often just as much a discipline as picking up the responsibilities God wants us to accept. Although this property-adventure isn’t done yet, I’m feeling wonderfully confirmed that we’re on the right track just sitting tight and “waiting for His instruction” (Is. 42:4 - our church’s theme verse).

You’ll probably see articles in the local papers about this tomorrow…

Fall Soiree - An American in Paris

Last night we enjoyed a delightful evening. The church was decked out as if we were in a cafe in Paris. The 1951 movie starring Gene Kelly - from which the evening got its name - was playing in the background. Throughout the campus came the sounds of light conversation and hearty laughter. My two favorite decorations were the black cloth draped across the ceiling of the side sanctuary that had twinkling Christmas lights strung above it that gave a starry night effect, and the ceiling effect created by dozens of spherical pink paper lanterns hung from the lights that traverse above the inner courtyard.

What a beautiful night. May we all feel the Lord's celebration of each of us and know that He delights in us as His kids. My heart was full last evening because I know that in an atmosphere of safety, fun, and affection we are sometimes able to receive things from Him that can't come any other way... Hope you felt it too.

Combatting Comparison

Every week I get a ton of ads for Christian ministries and opportunities. Just in the last couple days I've received ads for:

• A children's evangelism project
• A local seminar to help people become emotionally healthy
• Three different events aimed at helping people get engaged in global issues
• A Christian art program
• Seeking volunteers for an underprivileged youth program

As a young pastor, I’m barraged with dozens of ideas about what I ought to do in ministry - about what “God is doing” and how I ought to get involved. There are different training venues and ministry opportunities. Every opportunity presents a different ministry style and emphasis. There are seminars that offer me help on how to preach better, advertise better, organize better, and staff better. Different organizations promote events that promise to help the people in my church find God’s will for their life, gain freedom from emotional torments, straighten out their finances, grow in spiritual insight, fix their marriage, or get engaged with global issues.

They’re all great. But I can’t participate in even a fraction of them.

Honestly, when I see all this wonderful material that other organizations produce, it makes me feel a bit insecure. “Am I really doing what God wants me to?” When I hear stories or see ministries that feel impressive to me, the thought races through my head, “Am I missing it?”

Do you ever feel that insecurity? Like everybody is smarter and slicker than you? It makes me want to back away and not say much. But let's refuse the lies that Comparison offers us. It's just trying to distract us from our primary calling: loving and serving people.

I don't ignore all the ads. That's because I believe God is calling us to be more purposefully engaged with our community. That means I need to have my eyes and heart open for the new directions God will lead us in. Reading Daniel's article "A Cloud Isn't A Crowd" has helped me identify this tension in my life.

When He's leading, I feel a bit scared and challenged, but mostly excited by the new ideas and opportunities that are presented. But when insecurity or comparison are motivating me, I just feel overwhelmed and guilty that I'm "not doing enough."

Dirt Biking

Yesterday, Sam Courtney took me took dirt biking at Hollister Hills. What fun! What an adventure! It was my first time as you can tell... *smile*



Another couple photos...

Impacting Our Community

I just read a great article in the Sentinel about a friend of mine, Danny Brozowski, who is a postal worker in Watsonville. It's amazing the impact that each of us can have with simple acts of kindness.

My prayer for our beach clean up day tomorrow is that the Lord will build in our hearts a willingness and desire to serve our community in practical ways.

"I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you." Acts 3:6

We can't do everything. But we can do our part. And we can do it from a heart of love, as unto Jesus.

Israel 2007 - Day 7: Remembering the Holocaust

Continuing on with finishing my journal from our Israel trip earlier this summer... Hope you're not bored with these entries. They happened awhile back, so I realize that this stuff isn't exactly "hot off the press." But this trip was so impactful for me - writing this stuff down will help me capture these memories before they are faded. Besides, I'll want to reference these blog entries a couple years down the road when we're planning our next trip to Israel together!

I skipped the morning sessions of Convention so that I could spend some time with a good friend of Daniel's - Devorah Berger. Devorah got to know Daniel back in his UCLA days and she used to babysit Hilary... Wow! That's some history! What a wonderful time we had together! I expect that our next trip to Israel will include more time spent with her and the rest of the Berger family.

The whole afternoon was devoted to a tour of "Yad Vashem" - the Holocaust Museum. The reality of what happened during those years is staggering. The museum itself was stunning in its presentation: thousands personal items from the prisoners, artwork, well presented videos, etc. Although it's not a pleasant experience, I'm grateful for what has been collected and presented. Remembering our greatest mistakes is one of our only strategies to keep from repeating them.

Despite the horror of what happened in the Holocaust, Antisemitism is still a reality today. I believe that there are spiritual forces that will always be opposed to God's chosen people and will always seek to twist people's minds and hearts away from them. That's why we're called to "pray for the peace of Jerusalem" (Ps. 122:6) and to "remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you" (Rom. 11:18).

The evening session of the Foursquare Convention was a presentation from the International Christian Embassy of the Broadway-quality musical drama The Covenant. It was simply the most impressive presentation of the Bible story I've ever seen. Wow!

Men's Advance Highlights

I loved this past weekend. Conversations that went late, prayers that went deep, worship that made me hoarse. Here a few quotes from Matthias that really grabbed my attention:

• As with a golf-swing, our focus on having good "follow-through" will determine how well we live. Novice golfers focus on swinging hard.
• Good behavior (swinging hard) is not the goal. Allowing Jesus to shape our character (follow-though) will bring satisfaction and fruit.
• One day we will stand before Jesus. Our willingness to live with that moment in mind is the best way to have good follow-through. When that moment comes, what do you want to look back on your life and see?
• Just because we believe in Jesus does not guarantee that we will have good follow-through. That's a choice God leaves in our hands. When we get to heaven, some will be honored and others will not.
• God gives all of us talents. Invest them. Don't hide them. Jesus says it's wicked to simply "break even" (not doing bad, but not doing good either).
• No "doping." Mattias analogized legalism to taking performance enhancing drugs. By telling ourselves that we'll be loved more if we do good things, we can produce more impressive results in the short term. Living in the truth that we are loved regardless of our performance will produce slower growth, but it will be real.
• Sin is a pit that we can fall into. We need help to get out. Our biggest goal in life should not be to stay "clean" (i.e. never make a mistake), but learning how to get clean. Get good at letting other people help us out of these "pits" and get good at running to Jesus to get cleaned up.
• When we realize that we've fallen into a pit:
1. Admit it (don't try to explain or rationalize it... accept responsibility for your bad choice)
2. Submit it (give your mistake to Jesus... allow Him to forgive you)

A few other observations from this weekend...

• I loved the level of interaction between the older guys and the younger guys. The worship team was a perfect example of this. Seeing Vic's grey hairs and Kyle & Chris' youthful exuberance on the same team made my heart so glad. We made some great strides forward toward being one big family this year.
• I loved the ease and friendliness of the weekend. There wasn't a sense of pressure in anything. People were really free to be themselves. Sometimes at big events like this, the good sense of expectation for God to touch people can bleed over into an overbuilt-hype. But that wasn't the case here -- it felt so free. Free to follow God. And free to be ourselves.
  

Men's Advance - Opening Night

We had an incredible opening night. There is something powerful about men lifting holy hands to the Lord together. Matthias launched us on our theme for the weekend - "Finishing Well." He encouraged us to consider what we want to see in our lives when we look back on them when we are in heaven. Looking forward to where the Lord will take us over the next several days.

Hungry for Instruction

On Tuesday morning I got to have coffee with Daniel. Yes!! I do not get to talk with him very often (we've had only two or three significant conversations since January), so having the opportunity felt SO great. It was also fun to read Daniel's thoughts about our chat in his blog.

Several times this week, I've also been able to chat with Mattias Nowak. He's the pastor of the Delta church in Bern. I'm incredibly grateful for the words of encouragement and life he's spoken to me. He has a quiet wisdom that penetrates deeply into my heart. I also got to have breakfast with him one morning when we were in Israel together. Every time we talk, I'm hungry for more. I'm thrilled that our men (including me) will get to receive from him this weekend at our Men's Advance.

About once per month, I also get together with Steve Shober, our district supervisor and the pastor of New Hope church in Scotts Valley. We always get sushi and I'm able to share what's going on in my life personally and in our church life corporately. I always leave those conversations feeling stabilized, supported, instructed, and believed in.

With each of these men, I have repeatedly invited them to speak into my life. I've asked them to point out things that they see that aren't helpful. And I seek them out. I don't wait for them to seek me out. I pursue them. Because I need help.

Interestingly, when I feel like I need help, but can't seem to find it, sometimes I get frustrated. Basically, I want to blame somebody else for my problems. Rather than simply admitting that I don't know what I'm doing and that I need help, I'd rather get annoyed that someone hasn't already taught me what I need to know.

When I find myself in that place, here are a couple questions I ask myself:

1. Am I thinking too highly of myself? Even my little boys are having a huge impact on my life. They simply reflect back to me who and what I am. When I'm humble and hungry for input, almost anybody can give me an honest assessment and suggest some helpful steps.
2. Am I looking for help or am I looking to have my problem solved? If I'm looking for someone who is highly gifted or very charismatic or has a big title, then I'm going to be disappointed because I'm not really looking for help, I'm looking for someone who can fix the problem for me!
3. Am I waiting for someone to mentor me instead of seeking it for myself? I can't remember ever being refused by a spiritual leader when I asked for their input. Spiritual leaders have given their lives so that they can be available for people. When I'm hungry and seeking, I always end up finding what I'm looking for (that's Jesus' promise, remember?). I have to refuse the luxury of judging my spiritual leaders when I have to work a bit harder than I want to.

Local Access Cable - Starting Tonight!

Just heard that we are up and running! On Wednesdays at 9:30pm and again on Sundays at 3:00pm you'll be able to watch the sermons from our weekend services.

On Comcast it's channel 27 and on Charter it's channel 73.

What an amazing service this is. Totally free for us. From the Community Television of Santa Cruz County website:

The mission of Community Television of Santa Cruz County is to strengthen the spirit of community and enrich individual lives in Santa Cruz County by fostering communication through television and other electronic media.

Now that's something I can partner with! For more details about our show times, click here.